*In The Loving Memory of Star Sun Im* R.I.P. 7/11/1977 ~ 6/25/2010

My Star experience

My name is Mirko Buchwald and I met Star one night in the summer of 2001 I think it was. I used to work the door at the second Sunday parties at Kelly’s mission Rock and there was always an after party at Snow drift. I used to head over to Snow Drift to work the door at the after party which started around 10:pm. Anyway I used to get there around 9:30pm to set up. I get there one night and there are these 2 cute girls first in line, it was a while before we opened so we struck up a conversation ( the 2 girls were Star and Sara) . We opened and in they went, I remember seeing Star in the smoking area and saying hi again ( I also remember thinking she was pretty cute and funny) end of the night she came up to me to ask if anyone had handed in a phone she had lost her cell phone in the club somehow. I gave her my number and told her to call me the following day in case it showed up. Well that was the excuse I used to give her my number I didn’t think for a moment her phone would show up. By some strange coincidence 2 minutes after she left someone randomly handed me a phone ( just happened to be Stars) .Next day she called me and I gave her a big long story about how I had searched for ages and finally found it for her. Well of course she felt she owed me one and I was happy see her again. We went out for a drink some time after that to a cheesy Tiki bar (which she loved) I remember we had a really fun night both had the same goofy humor. Guess what she left her bag at the bar of course I once again came to the rescue and went back to get it for her. Women always seem to tell me I never can be serious about anything but Star loved that about me.
After that for some time I tried to date her we went out a few times, she was really fun and attractive . It became apparent that she was very popular and I should probably take a number and get in line. Which I kind of did for a while but after a while I kind of gave up.I hadn’t spoke to her in a few years then out of the blue one day I get a call, “hey is this Mirko, to which I answered yes … “ its Star remember me?” anyway to my surprise she went on to explain her life at the time when we met and to apologize for not being more consistent for which I told her she didn’t need to. To me this phone call said a lot about her character and heart, she seemed to really care even after all these years that had passed that I knew she was sorry.
And so be became friends again, I went up to visit her in Walnut Creek a while back , we spend the evening just hanging out watching the show “ Extras” a British comedy show which a lot of people don’t get “ British Humor” anyway she got it and I remember her slapping me every time really funny part was on. I stayed for a few hours but had to get home I hugged her gave her a kiss and headed into the night. That was the last time I saw her. We talked many time on the phone after that, one thing that Star liked about me apart from our similar sense of humor was the fact that I teach martial arts for a living I would often get calls in regards to Shane’s karate training. She would ask me about belt systems or what he should be learning. I had a conversation with her recently , about a month ago . She was telling me that Shane’s teacher was thinking about kicking her out the school for being in the back of the class room giving commands to Shane while he was in class. I told her the teacher was right and I would of kicked her out too. She was like “ oh really ! So I should shut up then, yeah! “You should I told her , you’re his mom not his teacher”.
While I wouldn’t want some mom distracting all the kids shouting commands “ keep your back straight ! Punch stronger Shaney” were some of the things she would say, I whole heartily know where she was coming from. I have taught martial arts for over 20 years and only very occasionally see parents who care and are this involved with their kids lives it comes from an absolute desire to give there kids the most they possibly can it come’s from an absolute love of wanted the most they can give to their child.
We talked again after this and had planned on going to lunch together she was going to take me to a Vegan restaurant she knew of in Oakland that was about a month ago I think, Our last phone conversation we talked about me being Vegan and she asked me many questions about my diet and various aspects of a vegan lifestyle she was not judgmental as many people are when you tell them your vegan but truly curious about it all. I remember getting a random Star text a few days after that “ hey how do I make veggie burgers without egg” I was rubbing of on her I think.
I will always remember Star being this really attractive/ funny/ goofy warm hearted loving person and mother, I will miss her humor goofy jokes I will miss the way she talking from her heart, she didn’t live in what if’s she said what was on her mind something that we should all try to do, most of us aren’t that brave. She always told me what a great person she thought I was she made me feel great when I talked to her and not a lot of people can make you feel like that. We talked many time about me meeting her son which had yet to do, we had talked about him a lot and I had been looking forward to it at some point. I finally met him last Saturday at her service, he wandered over to me and I introduced myself I told him I was a friend of his mommies he put his arms around me and hugged me, I couldn’t hold back the tears. It was a moment I will carry with me always in both its beauty and tragedy.
Well I finally met him Star he’s just like you described him I see how and why you loved him so much . While all of us that crossed paths with Star have many different memories are she will always live on in those memories and at the end of the day that’s what life is, its memories of the people we met people we cared about and people we loved and Star will always be one of those people.

For her sister , mom and Sara (my good friend)
Mirko Buchwald July 2010

(Posted by Mirko Buchwald)